Gonna Party Like It's 1999

Fall of 1999:
Josh and I had been secretly dating for a few months.  His parents found out what was going on and......well, lets just say it didn't go over well at all.  I understood it.  He was 17 and I was 25.  He had plans to go to med school and they were worried I would ruin all of it.  The problem was, we were in too deep by that point.  Like I said before, whatever it was that clicked between us locked up and refused to be unbroken. We made sure we worked the same days since we both still worked at Red Lobster.  Every time a new schedule would come out, we would trade off with other people to make sure we were there at the same time.  He would come to my house before work to pick me up, we would ride to work together and then he would drop me off at night.  All the time we knew his parents didn't approve but we just couldn't leave each other alone.
One night while we were leaving work, I noticed a car sitting way off to the side in an empty parking lot.  I told Josh not to look but to get to the truck in a hurry.  We did and took off.  We flew around the mall, cut off at the Shops on the Circle and headed to my house.  Made it.  He went straight home and before he walked in, he put his hand on the hood of his parents car.  Hot.  It was them.  We knew it was.  He was forbidden to see me but the rebel I had created didn't listen.
We continued to sneak around as much as possible until it just became unbearable.  His relationship with his parents wasn't going well (mine was fine because they loved Josh!).  I don't know when or where it was decided but we decided the only way to be together was to get married.  School was ending soon for him and he was turning 18.
For about 3 weeks prior to his birthday, he would bring a couple of things at a time over from his house.  Just a few things at a time so it wouldn't be so noticeable. The day came.  June 2, 2000.  Josh turned 18 and we had a plan.
Josh was on the yearbook committee at school so that morning he told his parents he was going to school to work on it.  He didn't.  He picked me up and we met 4 of our friends at the courthouse.  We Was Gettin' Hitched!  We signed in and paid the fees then waited in the hallway for our turn.  We all watched the hall like hawks, waiting for his parents to turn the corner and stop the marriage.  Instead, the clerk came out and said they had a problem.  She said even though it was Josh's birthday, he was born at night so technically he wasn't 18 yet.  !!!!  Panic set in.  My heart fell to the floor.  BUT, then she said she was just kidding.  *LOL*
Josh was a nervous wreck.  He had some crazy rash all over his eyes that got worse the longer we were there.  All nerves.  Anyway, we went through with the ceremony and then went to IHOP with our friends! Ha! Ha! Ha!  His rash went away after we were married.

Josh's parents told him previously that if he was determined to see me, he would have to turn over his truck.  SO, after we all ate we had a friend of ours take his truck to his mom's work with a letter inside explaining what happened.  Josh knew she was going to be at work that day so after it was dropped off, we came home and waited.  And waited.  And waited.  Nothing.
About 9pm, Josh decided to call his family since we hadn't heard anything from them.  His sister answered and they were all there.  Josh's mom was never at work.  She took off that day because they were going to surprise Josh for his birthday.  Cake and all.  Josh had a copy of the letter so he just told them to check their email.  LORDY, all hell broke loose from there!!!!
Cousins called. Uncles. It was crazy for a while but eventually it settled down.  What's done was done, no going back. 
A week or so went by and I received a call from his mother.  Josh was about to graduate high school and they had family coming in from out of town for a party.  She didn't like what was going on but she wanted to invite me anyway.  I went and I survived.
Things were pretty rocky for a while but eventually everything calmed down and we started our married life together.  We were in the duplex I was renting from Chip Bailey in a rather unsafe part of town.
Josh started college and I continued to work.  He was already working at the medical center so he kept pretty busy.  I worked 8-5, he worked 3-11 and had school.  We didn't see much of each other.  Like most newlyweds, we had growing pains.  We fought, a lot.  I was bad about wanting to run away from it and he was good about keeping the promise of our vows.  We traveled around here and there when we could.  We went to New Orleans for his 21st birthday. I gave him skydiving for his 20th birthday.  We went to San Antonio, visited family in Ohio and went to a few Nascar races (we were at the Daytona race when Dale Earnhardt died).

In San Antonio

He's saying "I Love You Baby!!"

My grandmother's health started to decline so my parents bought the house next to hers.  Since my parent's house was vacant, we decided to move there.  It was the house I grew up in.  Definitely not the best memories.  Things were still a little rocky but we were making progress together.
After being married about 2 years, we decided we wanted to have children.  I should have known, based on my past, that it wasn't going to be easy.....

Helloooooo High School!

9th grade.  Freshman.  13 years old.  My life as a teenager was about to get a lot more fun.  I had my old friends and a lot of new friends.  A new teen club opened called "Confetti's" and I was there.  Every Friday.  Every Saturday.  Bangin' my head to every heavy metal song that was played.  I could smoke there, right out in the open and no one said a word.  I could even buy cigarettes (Hobo on Westgate!!!) without a problem.  I had older friends so alcohol was never a problem.  I was having a blast with all of my friends.  9th grade rocked!

I had my mind set.  There was one boy that I had known for 4 years but he was shy.  He didn't talk to many people but he was well liked.  He was an amazing drummer in a band, Apathy.  I tried and tried and was determined not to give up.  It worked.  Christopher Lee Wier was mine!  We dated for over 2 years.  He was my first serious boyfriend and I loved him with that crazy schoolgirl love that probably drove him crazy.  One of my best friends, Neely, was dating his brother Jamie so the 4 of us had a blast together!  Dating someone in a band required an understanding that the band always came first.  It was an agreement they all made with each other.   The better they became, the more popular they became which led to more travel.  Neely and I would go out of town with the band (and their parents) as often as we could but it just didn't work anymore.  We ended as friends and have remained friends still.  I adore his mother and still spend time with her when I can!  She prayed for me, with me and listened to me about everything that was going on at home. I will NEVER forget what she did for me. Love you Momma Wier!!!

In 11th grade, this new kid from New Orleans showed up in my English class.  Every time he walked up to the teacher, he would glance over at me and smile.  I started hanging out with him and in turn, made a lot more friends.  Chad Maurice Wiebelt. Lucky again.  One of Chad's best friend's was Dena's boyfriend, Jim! 11th & 12th grades were filled with trips to the beach, bauxite mines, hot tub parties, house parties and hanging out at Southside Mickey D's.  Chad and I hadn't been dating long.  We were at Jim's house late one night and got a phone call about 2am.  Chad, Chuck and I flew back to town to find out his brother, Ryan had been killed in a car wreck.  My stomach still turns when I think of that night.  The screaming.  The crying.  There were 5 kids living in that house.  They were all very close and to see all of them hurting like that just killed me.  Not long after that, my aunt & uncle were murdered.  Going through two horrific events like that really brought us closer.

A couple of years after graduation, Chad proposed.  I really thought this was going to be it.  We were still young though and again it didn't work out.  We were over.  It didn't end well.  End of that story. Well, until later.

In the meantime, my mom met an AMAZING man that we both adored.  I had met his daughter so my mom wanted to take me to meet his son one day. The name rang a bell but I couldn't place it.  Not until I saw his face.  Toby McGriff.  If you ever went to Wiregrass Commons Mall in the late 80s/early 90s (as a teenager) then chances are you knew.  You knew that once your parents dropped you off, you headed out to the woods with your group of friends to smoke pot and drink, sorry, DRANK some Mad Dog 20/20 and Boone's Farm.  Toby was occasionally in the woods. ANYWAY, our parents got married and that was the best thing she ever did.  He has filled a void in my life and I'll love him as my Dad for the rest of my life.

Now that I'm a mom, I couldn't imagine either one of my children doing half the things I did.  Hunch punch parties ending with the police calling my parents to pick me up AND THEN singing the Brady Bunch song in the backseat because I was still drunk.  To this day, every time I hear Paradise City by Guns & Roses I remember sniffing rush and Scotch Guard.  I was horrible.  I'm even embarrassed to say so much of the stuff I did, but I have to own it.  In turn, I have to strive every day to provide a solid foundation for my children.  I know they'll mess up and Im all for them learning from their mistakes.  I want them to know they'll face consequences but they''ll never lose my love.  I did what I did.  I'm not gonna lie, we had a LOT of fun.  But what did I miss out on in return?

High school was over, college started and my life was about to change forever.  

Act Your Age!

Have you ever taken the time to delve into the depths of your brain and find your very first memory?  I always wonder, at what point did a first memory etch itself into my child's brain.  Asking them now won't do any good.  I want to hear how they remember their childhood when they're older.  What did I say or do that left an impression over other things?

My first memory?  I was 3.  I was sitting on some funky green carpet in our living room.  I have no clue what I was doing but I remember my mom saying "Act your age!!!!" and I remember being confused.  How did a 3 year old act? Was I doing it wrong? Apparently so.  And then it fades.....

The memories that follow are a huge mixture of every emotion possible.  I remember riding in our vomit green conversion van (with Snoopy in a spaceship flying over the moon...YES it was the 70s) with our neighbors singing Crystal Gayle & Carpenters songs.  "Don't It Make My Brown Eyes Blue"  "Im Sittin On Top Of The World"   I distinctly remember the unfortunate incident of me and a permanent marker drawing on the back of the chairs in the van.  (Probably why later my mother invested in a shirt for me that said "I Didn't Do It").

Yeah, y'all thought I was kidding didn't ya!?

School.  1st grade.  I met a group of girls that remained my best friends for years. Teresa, Amanda and Katie. We were always with each other and I loved them dearly.  Their families were still intact and....happy, and I was jealous.  I wanted to be anywhere but at home.  My sister left at 17.  My brother left at 19.  That left me. My friends witnessed things at my house that no one ever should.  I couldn't have spend the night company.  Well I could, but any fun we had was overshadowed by screaming and the sound of my father beating my mom.  Embarrassing.  I don't think I ever told any of those girls what their friendship meant to me as I was going through that.  I hope they know.
Any good memories of a possibly happy family were forgotten from that point on.  I have pictures of all of our travels together but when I look at them, I remember what it was really like.  Not what the camera caught.

  In 3rd grade, I met my Dena.  Dena Rae Hoover.  She was new to the school and we became instant friends.  Somehow, I meshed my friendship with her and my friendship with my girls.  It worked drama free.  Dena and I have continued our friendship for 32 years.  Births.  Deaths.  Marriages and divorces.  Seems like we have been through it all together and I know I'll have her til my last day on this Earth.

Middle school brought out a whole new me.  I met Davy-Randy-Heather  and Laura (more girls I am still friends with to this day!!)  Things were at their worst at home and I was getting older.  Old enough to get in trouble. In 7th grade, I was walking through the mall with Teresa, Katie and Amanda.  My mom had just told me they were getting a divorce and I was telling my girls (even remember it was right in front of what used to be Kirklands).  I don't know what I would have done without the solid friends I had.  Something snapped in me.  12 years old.  I started drinking, smoking and smoking pot.  Thinking about my children being 10 right now and doing what I did at that age absolutely terrifies me. 

Then came high school........