This is a post I made on MySpace after my Granny passed away. January 2007
Losing My Last Grandparent
Kathryn Powell Brantley
Saturday, January 13, 2007
My first grandparent died before I was even born, how fair was that? He died January 11, 1972- a full two years before I was born. Yet his memory lived on through my family and random people I came across that knew him because of the life he chose to live. One of a kind, I've heard......someone I would have really been proud to call my Grandfather. It's no wonder my grandmother stayed faithful to his memory these past 35 years.
My second grandparent (my dad's mom) passed away late in 1994. I was on a 3 week trip to Hawaii and she passed away while I was there. I missed everything.
My third grandparent (my dad's dad) passed away shortly after his wife, like many do. I was in Gainesville, FL having brain surgery, of all things. Again, I missed everything.
So, this time, when I got the call from my step-dad that the dying process had started for my grandmother and it was time for the family to be with her...I made plans to be there until the end. She was the one grandparent that had always been there for me, and everyone else in the family, whenever we needed something. It was only fair that I give up everything I had going on to be with her.
I made it to the Nursing Home in Graceville by 8pm on Wednesday night. The doctor and nurses said it would be any time. Granny had gone into a non-responsive sleep earlier in the day and the "process" had already started. Her earlobes folded down, her nose started to turn a little, her chest started to rattle and her thumbs were beginning to turn in. Her feet were so cold. My mom, step-dad, sister, brother, sister in law and I just sat in the room and talked to her. We told her we loved her and that it was ok to go on-to finally go see Grandpoppy. It had been 35 years....he was calling her home to see him. This was Jan 10th.
We realized my Grandfather died January 11th so maybe she was holding out until the 11th. ? Midnight rolled around, people left.......my step-dad left for a little while to check on things at home, mom was in constant pain with her Parkinson's so she dozed off and on. I sat there next to Granny, holding her hand, all night. I listened to the rhythym of her breathing and would doze for a few minutes here and there, only to wake up to the nurses checking her vitals every 30 minutes.
At 2am, she started getting a fever.....103.9. By 4am, it was up even more. It hit 106. They couldnt break it with Tylenol, Ibuprofen.....nothing would work. They came in with bags of ice and covered her in it. Her respirations per minute were up to 63....she was not comfortable yet she was still in this natural sleep that no one could get her out of. The doctor came by to check her and said to do whatever it took to make her last hours comfortable. Liquid oral morphine......every 10-15 minutes until it got her respirations down to a comfortable level. By late afternoon, she was down to 30 respirations per minute, then 24, then 20, then 17. Her blood pressure dropped from 142/86 to 60/40, then 50/40 and after that they couldn't read it anymore. Her pulse rate went from 90 to 50.
I called Josh and told him her vitals. He said the end was getting closer and told us what we needed to be looking for. I explained to my sister what Josh said.......that right near the end, Granny's respirations would get really quick and then slow down and she'd taken one deep breath and then she'd be gone. Josh works in the ER-he's seen it enough, we trusted him to know.
All day long, the nurses kept coming to us and asking if there was ANYONE Granny had not heard from. They wanted to make sure we had all talked to her and told her it was ok go. We reassured them we all had said everything we needed to say. They just kept saying she was holding on and fighting for something because by all accounts, it looked like she was going to pass Wednesday night.
Finally, at 11:30p on Thursday night my sister said she knew exactly what it was. As stubborn as all the women are in our family, Granny has to outdo Grandpoppy and go one more day than him. We all laughed because it's true (all of our husbands can tell you)-we are very stubborn women that love to prove our husbands wrong. *lol*
At this point, Im going on nearly 48 hours straight of no sleep. Others have come and gone, slept and taken breaks. I haven't left my Grandmother's side for more than 30 minutes the entire time. My sister and I were still just sitting there watching her breathe. I pulled up my chair closer to the bed, let the rail down and layed my head down on Granny's chest. I knew it would be the last time I would ever get to know the comfort of a grandparent. I instantly fell asleep......that was at 1am.
At 1:17am, my sister grabbed my shirt and whispered "She quit breathing-she did EXACTLY what Josh said she would do" and I looked up at my grandmothers face just in enough time to see her take her last deep breath. As she exhaled for the last time, her tired body rested for the first time in 87 years. It was the most peaceful thing I ever witnessed in my entire life. I thought we would all bust out crying at the loss of my grandmother but it was the weirdest thing. Not one of us cried. We all looked at Granny and knew she was going home to be with the only man she ever loved in her entire life. The man she had missed for 35 years was waiting for her in heaven and at that exact moment we were losing her.....she was going to be with him. It was amazing to me.
So.........then it was time to call the funeral home. My mom and David left to go home. My sister and I stayed. After they got Granny bathed and dressed, my sister and I crawled up on each side of the bed and layed down next to Granny. We talked about how good of a Granny she was and different funny things we remembered about her. We eventually fell asleep until the funeral home got there to take her away. We left before we saw that.
Granny had some Alzheimer's and therefore couldn't grasp a lot of reality. Her closest and last remaining brother passed away in November, but we never told her because it just didn't seem to serve a purpose. She had no clue who any of us were and there was no reason to upset her if she did know who he was. So, not only did she get to see her husband again, she got to see her brother that she didn't even know was there! He was a jokester too. I bet he was hiding behind my grandfather and jumped out from behind him to surprise her. *lol* I could just see their reunion now. I told my mom I wish I could have seen the look on my grandmother's face when she got to heaven and saw him.
Friday, after we met at the funeral home to write the obituary and plan the service, I went to my grandmothers house to pick out her clothes for the funeral. That's not such an easy task to complete. I finally picked out a pretty pale pink suit with a beautiful white blouse. I have to go buy her some earrings today. Doesn't seem natural. I realized when I walked in my grandmothers house today that I would never see her get up out of her chair and turn to give me a hug again. It's the end of an era and the last grandparent for me. I sure will miss my Granny.......
The last picture we took together......
My first grandparent died before I was even born, how fair was that? He died January 11, 1972- a full two years before I was born. Yet his memory lived on through my family and random people I came across that knew him because of the life he chose to live. One of a kind, I've heard......someone I would have really been proud to call my Grandfather. It's no wonder my grandmother stayed faithful to his memory these past 35 years.
My second grandparent (my dad's mom) passed away late in 1994. I was on a 3 week trip to Hawaii and she passed away while I was there. I missed everything.
My third grandparent (my dad's dad) passed away shortly after his wife, like many do. I was in Gainesville, FL having brain surgery, of all things. Again, I missed everything.
So, this time, when I got the call from my step-dad that the dying process had started for my grandmother and it was time for the family to be with her...I made plans to be there until the end. She was the one grandparent that had always been there for me, and everyone else in the family, whenever we needed something. It was only fair that I give up everything I had going on to be with her.
I made it to the Nursing Home in Graceville by 8pm on Wednesday night. The doctor and nurses said it would be any time. Granny had gone into a non-responsive sleep earlier in the day and the "process" had already started. Her earlobes folded down, her nose started to turn a little, her chest started to rattle and her thumbs were beginning to turn in. Her feet were so cold. My mom, step-dad, sister, brother, sister in law and I just sat in the room and talked to her. We told her we loved her and that it was ok to go on-to finally go see Grandpoppy. It had been 35 years....he was calling her home to see him. This was Jan 10th.
We realized my Grandfather died January 11th so maybe she was holding out until the 11th. ? Midnight rolled around, people left.......my step-dad left for a little while to check on things at home, mom was in constant pain with her Parkinson's so she dozed off and on. I sat there next to Granny, holding her hand, all night. I listened to the rhythym of her breathing and would doze for a few minutes here and there, only to wake up to the nurses checking her vitals every 30 minutes.
At 2am, she started getting a fever.....103.9. By 4am, it was up even more. It hit 106. They couldnt break it with Tylenol, Ibuprofen.....nothing would work. They came in with bags of ice and covered her in it. Her respirations per minute were up to 63....she was not comfortable yet she was still in this natural sleep that no one could get her out of. The doctor came by to check her and said to do whatever it took to make her last hours comfortable. Liquid oral morphine......every 10-15 minutes until it got her respirations down to a comfortable level. By late afternoon, she was down to 30 respirations per minute, then 24, then 20, then 17. Her blood pressure dropped from 142/86 to 60/40, then 50/40 and after that they couldn't read it anymore. Her pulse rate went from 90 to 50.
I called Josh and told him her vitals. He said the end was getting closer and told us what we needed to be looking for. I explained to my sister what Josh said.......that right near the end, Granny's respirations would get really quick and then slow down and she'd taken one deep breath and then she'd be gone. Josh works in the ER-he's seen it enough, we trusted him to know.
All day long, the nurses kept coming to us and asking if there was ANYONE Granny had not heard from. They wanted to make sure we had all talked to her and told her it was ok go. We reassured them we all had said everything we needed to say. They just kept saying she was holding on and fighting for something because by all accounts, it looked like she was going to pass Wednesday night.
Finally, at 11:30p on Thursday night my sister said she knew exactly what it was. As stubborn as all the women are in our family, Granny has to outdo Grandpoppy and go one more day than him. We all laughed because it's true (all of our husbands can tell you)-we are very stubborn women that love to prove our husbands wrong. *lol*
At this point, Im going on nearly 48 hours straight of no sleep. Others have come and gone, slept and taken breaks. I haven't left my Grandmother's side for more than 30 minutes the entire time. My sister and I were still just sitting there watching her breathe. I pulled up my chair closer to the bed, let the rail down and layed my head down on Granny's chest. I knew it would be the last time I would ever get to know the comfort of a grandparent. I instantly fell asleep......that was at 1am.
At 1:17am, my sister grabbed my shirt and whispered "She quit breathing-she did EXACTLY what Josh said she would do" and I looked up at my grandmothers face just in enough time to see her take her last deep breath. As she exhaled for the last time, her tired body rested for the first time in 87 years. It was the most peaceful thing I ever witnessed in my entire life. I thought we would all bust out crying at the loss of my grandmother but it was the weirdest thing. Not one of us cried. We all looked at Granny and knew she was going home to be with the only man she ever loved in her entire life. The man she had missed for 35 years was waiting for her in heaven and at that exact moment we were losing her.....she was going to be with him. It was amazing to me.
So.........then it was time to call the funeral home. My mom and David left to go home. My sister and I stayed. After they got Granny bathed and dressed, my sister and I crawled up on each side of the bed and layed down next to Granny. We talked about how good of a Granny she was and different funny things we remembered about her. We eventually fell asleep until the funeral home got there to take her away. We left before we saw that.
Granny had some Alzheimer's and therefore couldn't grasp a lot of reality. Her closest and last remaining brother passed away in November, but we never told her because it just didn't seem to serve a purpose. She had no clue who any of us were and there was no reason to upset her if she did know who he was. So, not only did she get to see her husband again, she got to see her brother that she didn't even know was there! He was a jokester too. I bet he was hiding behind my grandfather and jumped out from behind him to surprise her. *lol* I could just see their reunion now. I told my mom I wish I could have seen the look on my grandmother's face when she got to heaven and saw him.
Friday, after we met at the funeral home to write the obituary and plan the service, I went to my grandmothers house to pick out her clothes for the funeral. That's not such an easy task to complete. I finally picked out a pretty pale pink suit with a beautiful white blouse. I have to go buy her some earrings today. Doesn't seem natural. I realized when I walked in my grandmothers house today that I would never see her get up out of her chair and turn to give me a hug again. It's the end of an era and the last grandparent for me. I sure will miss my Granny.......
The last picture we took together......
I teared up a bit on this one. I did not realize your Granny had Alzheimer's...such a sad disease!
ReplyDeleteI had to laugh when I read about your vision of my grandpa hiding behind your grandpa and jumping out to surprise your Granny...so likely!! He probably asked her to pull his finger right after that, LOL!
Your Granny was a wonderful lady...so kind, sweet, and giving!